George Burns quotes - page 2

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. (George Burns)
Be quick to learn and wise to know. View quote
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me. View quote
George Burns
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. View quote
George Burns
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. View quote
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. View quote
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it. View quote
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. View quote
George Burns
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. View quote
George Burns
At my age, all my friends, doctors, and attorneys are dead. The good thing about this is that there's no one left who can refute my stories. View quote
George Burns
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. View quote
George Burns
Young. Old. Just Words. View quote
George Burns
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. View quote
George Burns
I've had worried parents come up to me and ask me for advice. They'll say "I don't know what to do. My teenage son won't cut his hair, he drives too fast, and I don't know what that stuff is he listens to, but it sure isn't music." I'll just say to them "I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. By the time he's my age, I don't think you'll need to worry about him anymore." View quote
George Burns
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. View quote
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked. View quote
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age. View quote
George Burns
Retire I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left. View quote
George Burns
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. View quote
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it. (George Burns)
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. View quote
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. View quote
George Burns
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. View quote
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too. View quote
George Burns