Lenny Bruce quotes

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. (Lenny Bruce)
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. View quote
Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. View quote
Lenny Bruce
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. View quote
Lenny Bruce
I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce. View quote
Lenny Bruce
The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them. View quote
Lenny Bruce
When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it. View quote
Lenny Bruce
If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Let me tell you the truth. The truth is what is, and what should be is a fantasy. A terrible, terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. (Lenny Bruce)
I want to perform an unnatural act. View quote
Lenny Bruce
There are never enough I Love You's. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Life is a four-letter word. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Communism is like one big phone company. View quote
Lenny Bruce
If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career. View quote
Lenny Bruce
If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. View quote
Lenny Bruce
The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't. View quote
Lenny Bruce
Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you. View quote
Lenny Bruce
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour. (Lenny Bruce)
A Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as a descendant from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary, but you and I know what a Jew is: One Who Killed Our Lord... there should be a statute of limitations for that crime. in Lenny Bruce Without Tears 1972. View quote
Lenny Bruce
I'm not a comedian. And I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values. View quote
Lenny Bruce
I'll die young, but it's like kissing God. View quote
Lenny Bruce
If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone. View quote
Lenny Bruce