Erma Bombeck quotes - page 4

When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies. (Erma Bombeck)
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. View quote
Erma Bombeck
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Never accept a drink from a urologist. View quote
Erma Bombeck
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Never have more children than you have car windows. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. View quote
Erma Bombeck
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? View quote
Erma Bombeck
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. View quote
Erma Bombeck
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. (Erma Bombeck)
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. View quote
Erma Bombeck
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. View quote
Erma Bombeck
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? View quote
Erma Bombeck
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick. View quote
Erma Bombeck
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Laugh now, cry later. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it. (Erma Bombeck)
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order. View quote
Erma Bombeck
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. View quote
Erma Bombeck
God created man, but I could do better. View quote
Erma Bombeck
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. View quote
Erma Bombeck