Rita Rudner quotes - page 3

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country; people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. (Rita Rudner)
The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing. View quote
Rita Rudner
I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me. View quote
Rita Rudner
They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. View quote
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. View quote
Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money. View quote
Rita Rudner
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. View quote
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it. View quote
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling. View quote
Rita Rudner
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' View quote
Rita Rudner
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. (Rita Rudner)
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. View quote
Rita Rudner
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal. View quote
Rita Rudner
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother. View quote
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved. View quote
Rita Rudner
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money! View quote
Rita Rudner
When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third. View quote
Rita Rudner
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about. View quote
Rita Rudner
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable. View quote
Rita Rudner
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. View quote
Rita Rudner
Cats are a waste of fur. (Rita Rudner)
Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, Will we ever make love again He said, Yes.... but not with each other. View quote
Rita Rudner