Robert Orben quotes - page 3

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price. (Robert Orben)
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh. View quote
Robert Orben
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket. View quote
Robert Orben
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people. View quote
Robert Orben
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. View quote
Robert Orben
Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. View quote
Robert Orben
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!' View quote
Robert Orben
With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal! View quote
Robert Orben
These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose. View quote
Robert Orben
Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success. View quote
Robert Orben
A compliment is verbal sunshine. (Robert Orben)
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them. View quote
Robert Orben
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace. View quote
Robert Orben
Thanks to modern medicine we are no longer forced to endure prolonged pain, disease, discomfort and wealth. View quote
Robert Orben
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there. View quote
Robert Orben
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Honk Kong it's the way the egg rolls. View quote
Robert Orben
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier. View quote
Robert Orben
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it -- after all, they've already given us tasteless bread. View quote
Robert Orben