Stephen Colbert quotes - page 8

But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you. Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don't understand why we're here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots. (Stephen Colbert)
I have tender feelings for Nixon, because everybody has warm feelings about their childhood. Actually, I didn't like the Watergate trials 'cause they interrupted The Munsters... Nixon was the last liberal president. He supported women's rights, the environment, ending the draft, youth involvement, and now he's the boogeyman? Kerry couldn't even run on that today. View quote
Stephen Colbert
Answer honestly... Disabuse me of my ignorance. Don't let me get away with anything. Don't try to play my game. Be real. Be passionate. Hold your ideas. Give me resistance. Give me traction I can work against. The friction between reality, or the truly held concerns of the person, and the farcical concerns that I have, or my need to seem important, as opposed to actually understanding what's true... Where those two things meet is where the comedy happens. So be real. That's the best thing you can do. And call me on my bullshit. View quote
Stephen Colbert
If you don't give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don't hurt you anymore - and you actually have power over those people. ... So, if you can, realize that the things that people say about you - they don't really matter - it's who you are. And the older you get, the more you'll understand that - because it gets better. And people get nicer too. View quote
Stephen Colbert
I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone". Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term. View quote
Stephen Colbert
As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America - with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good - over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew. View quote
Stephen Colbert