Evan Esar quotes

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. (Evan Esar)
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. View quote
Evan Esar
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. View quote
Evan Esar
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past. View quote
Evan Esar
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. View quote
Evan Esar
Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. View quote
Evan Esar
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. View quote
Evan Esar
Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once. View quote
Evan Esar
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. View quote
Evan Esar
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. View quote
Evan Esar
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. (Evan Esar)
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. View quote
Evan Esar
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. View quote
Evan Esar
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last. View quote
Evan Esar
Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl. View quote
Evan Esar
An epigram is the marriage of wit, and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce. View quote
Evan Esar
A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended. View quote
Evan Esar
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow. View quote
Evan Esar
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway. View quote
Evan Esar
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary. View quote
Evan Esar
Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. (Evan Esar)
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. View quote
Evan Esar
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. View quote
Evan Esar
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. View quote
Evan Esar
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. View quote
Evan Esar