Rodney Dangerfield quotes - page 4

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't. (Rodney Dangerfield)
In my life I've been through plenty. when I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
There goes the neighborhood. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother! View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind. View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either' View quote
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Together we make mud. (Rodney Dangerfield)